Wednesdays are the worst days ever because I have a ton of homework and school but I just wanted to say that my Guru Maharaj (HH Bhakti Charu Swami) is coming!!! I am so excited that I want to scream but Im afraid to freak out the neighbors. I have been praying for him to come basically since I moved here and started contacting him. And now he’s finally comming! He’ll be here from the 31st of October to the 9th of November (which is also my birthday).

Ive been very negative though. What if he doesnt really like me? What if he is upset with me? What if he only wants to assoicate with certain disciples? What if he isnt in Orlando long enough for me to see him? I dont know where all this negativity comes from, maybe its inherent or maybe its an aversion due to previous life experiences. Ive really been trying to be positive- he does want to see me, he isnt upset with me and he will engage me in some service. But I cant help this feeling of unworthiness, like, why would he waste his time with me?

Despite all this, Im very super excited that he’s coming.